The reunion effect: turns out we’re still pretty fun

Before going any further, full disclosure. If you’re someone who hated your schooldays and never wants to be reminded of them, then maybe this blog post isn’t for you.

But on the other hand, why not give it a go?

My own schooldays weren’t exactly plain sailing – there were some pretty grim experiences, some mediocre ones, and some great ones. Like most things in life, they were a mixed bag. And the best thing about school reunions, in my humble opinion, is that they enable you to share not only that mixed bag of the distant past, but also the mixed bag of what became of our lives after we left school. Our joys, our woes, our careers, our marriages, divorces, remarriages, children, the passing away of loved ones, including former alumni … but above all, sharing with each other, and having a terrific time partying as well. Lots of food, drink and laughter!

It’s almost twenty years since I went on my first school reunion. (And by the way, I’m talking about international school reunions here, which last a lot longer than a mere one-off dinner event!) At that time, back in 2005, I was already – well, shall we say not exactly a spring chicken anymore – yet when I returned home I felt rejuvenated, reconnected and revitalised. Forever Young at Heart. And that has continued to be the case with each reunion I’ve attended over the past two decades.

Rejuvenated, Reconnected, Revitalised … how true, how true! And while on the theme of ‘R for Reunion’, here’s another ‘R’ word …

Romance.

Okay, here goes. During my first school reunion, a secret attraction was burgeoning between two alumni who only had eyes for each other. Never mind that one of them was married to someone else – after all, you know the saying all’s fair in love and war? Well, it seems that the same applies to reunions. To cut right through to the present day, I hear that those two love birds are still together now.

By the time of my second reunion, I myself had been a victim of the all’s fair concept, back home in Krakow. So I joined the reunion with some trepidation, fervently hoping that being with other alumni would give me the emotional support I needed, after the pain of my marital break-up. It most certainly did that! It also gave me quite a lot more, which I took away with me and cherished in my heart for a long time. Actually, still to this day.

The next reunion I attended was a much smaller affair, held in the Rocky Mountains of Canada. A skiing reunion! The surroundings were out of this world, and friendships both old and new were forged, each one of them with that crucial lynch pin – our former school. As for the romance side of things … ? Suffice it to say that after each day’s perilous skiing, with aching limbs, numbed fingertips and over-worked lungs, I should imagine all that went on behind closed doors was sleeping and snoring, rather than anything remotely amorous. Though actually, that isn’t entirely true …

Shall we move on again? On my fourth reunion, yet again a piquant little ‘something’ was bubbling in the air between two of the attendees. However, as this one was rather recent, there is no way am I about to betray any confidences, therefore I shall remain silent and forever hold my peace!

And now, finally, we come to the latest reunion, from which I only returned a few days ago. Sorry to disappoint, but I’m afraid this time round I was not aware of any untoward goings-on behind closed doors. (Though who knows? I’m not a keyhole spy.) What I was profoundly aware of, however, was the beauty of lasting relationships: subtle displays of true care and affection; some couples holding hands even after several decades of marriage; others, who came alone, travelling onwards post-reunion to meet up with their missing half. As for the widowed, divorced or otherwise single alumni – well, we just enjoyed the vicarious happiness of our fellow-attendees’ long-lasting relationships, and rejoiced in the exchanging of mutual memories and friendships.

Which brings me to a final ‘R for Reunion’ word …

Re-routing.

Yes, the re-routing of our lives each time we meet up at yet another reunion: catching up on what has happened since the last one, be it just a year or a couple of decades. And, sadly, the older we get, the more we hear about the demise of former alumni. At my first reunion in 2005 there was only one friend who was no longer in the land of the living; but with each consecutive gathering, yet another member has joined the ‘farewell list’, be it former teachers, fellow classmates, or spouses.

But that’s life, right? It’s only to be expected, as you get older. The accumulation of years goes hand in hand with the accumulation of shared experiences, emotions, and memories. Which is precisely what reunions are all about.

We come together to share and celebrate our past – and what a wonderful thing that is to do! And when our own time comes, we hope that our memories will be carried on by younger family members who will continue to look at old photos, and laugh at the things their crazy parents and grandparents and great grandparents and great aunts and uncles apparently got up to in their youth.

Already looking forward to the next reunion!